Memories of You Read online

  Eventually, they reached a small corner lot that stood completely empty. There was nothing there save for weeds, gravel, and a dilapidated chain link fence. However, there was a beautiful view of the river and pier on the opposite bank.

  “What is this place?” Hunter asked as Luke climbed out of the car.

  “Come take a look,” coaxed Luke, before closing the car door and walking away from the car towards the fence.

  Hunter didn’t like the look of the place. The river was pretty, but the lot looked like it probably belonged to someone. He’d watched quite a few gangster movies on Netflix over the last week and could just imagine men with machine guns watching as a couple of civvies tromped around a little too close to their dump site.

  Still, he couldn’t just let Luke head off alone, could he?

  “If I get murdered by gangsters I’ll never forgive you, Luke,” muttered Hunter under his breath as he climbed out of the car. “Wait for me,” he said in a normal voice, while zipping up his coat.

  He closed the car door and jogged to catch up with Luke. Even jogging was starting to get uncomfortable now that his body was beginning to change. If things kept up at this pace, Hunter was certain he’d be unable to move a muscle before long. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would subject themselves to all of the aches and pains of pregnancy multiple times, let alone once.

  “Luke, what is this place?” asked Hunter, glancing at the discarded pop bottles and other random bits of garbage that littered the empty lot.

  “It’s ours,” said Luke simply.

  “We, you and I, own this empty lot in the middle of an industrial zone?” Hunter was incredulous. “Why?”

  “Technically, it’s on the edge of the industrial zone,” explained Luke. “According to the city planner, this lot isn’t technically zoned for industrial use. For whatever reason, it’s technically part of the residential zone across the river. They’ve been so busy with other things that rezoning this one tiny little lot was never really a priority. Most of the previous owners tried to get the zoning changed but ended up failing for one reason or another. By the time we bought it, the price was so low it was practically a steal.”

  “But why would we need an empty lot?” asked Hunter. “We’ve got two perfectly nice lofts. Even if we were planning to move in together, couldn’t we just remodel the lofts so they were connected and call it good? Add another bedroom and a few walls for privacy, it would’ve been perfect for a fledgling family.”

  “The cost for the renovations was going to be expensive,” said Luke. “We hired an architect to draw up some plans and went to a couple of different contractors for quotes. The prices were high because one of the things we insisted on was making sure the renovations blended in with the existing architecture.”

  Hunter nodded slowly. That was something he agreed with at least. The architecture of his industrial style loft was one of his favorite things about the place. He couldn’t imagine marring it with renovations that didn’t match the existing style.

  “So, we started shopping around,” continued Luke. “My parents wanted us to move out into the country with them, and your parents wanted us to move to the suburbs with them. We both agreed, however, that we didn’t want to move that far from our friends. Not to mention the fact that you didn’t really want the long commute to work every day.”

  “We had a long drive to get here though,” retorted Hunter.

  “It might have felt like it,” said Luke, “but that was only because I actually took a couple wrong turns in the shopping district.” He chuckled. “We only came out here a couple times, and after your accident, I never had a reason to come out here alone. You mapped it out before we bought the place. You said it was roughly five minutes from here to work, and most of our friends lived within ten minutes.”

  Hunter turned his back to the river and looked at the industrial zone that stretched out around them. The section appeared to be older than the parts they had driven through earlier. Brick buildings, similar in style to their apartment building, dominated the landscape. It was difficult to tell what sort of work a lot of them did, but most of them appeared to be in use. There were no strange smells or oppressively loud noises that he could hear from here either.

  “But what about kids?” asked Hunter, turning towards Luke with his final complaint. “If we were planning to have kids together, then what about them? There are no neighbors around here. No children for them to play with. It’s completely devoid of anything that could even be remotely considered child friendly. I’d be paranoid about letting them play outside because of the trucks.”

  As if to emphasize his point, several large semi-trucks slowly rolled by. They were all loaded down with whatever shipments they had been tasked to haul. While they weren’t traveling very fast, even Hunter was aware of the glaring blind spots such large vehicles possessed.

  “We talked about that,” Luke reassured him. “We had the exact same arguments then as well. That’s why we planned for a large fenced-in backyard. As for other children to play with...” Luke’s voice trailed off as he pointed across the open field that stretched for several hundred yards north of the lot. “There’s a residential park just across this field. Since my job has me home pretty much all day, we agreed it would be relatively easy for me to take them across the field and back until they were old enough to walk themselves.”

  Hunter still had his doubts, but it sounded like Luke had an answer for everything. Had the old him really already agreed to this plan?

  “So, did we ever get beyond the planning stage with this house?” asked Hunter.

  “We had some plans drawn up and some architectural renderings done. I’ve got them in the car. Before I show them to you, however,” said Luke, “I think it’s important that you know that this whole thing,” he made a sweeping gesture to the lot around them, “was actually your idea.”

  Hunter frowned as Luke headed back towards the car. Had his past self really suggested they build a house here and raise their family in it? Did that mean this entire conversation had happened once before but with their roles reversed?

  “Here,” said Luke as he returned with a manila envelope. “You told me, ‘You’ve got to look at the drawings while standing on the lot to really see the magic.’ ”

  “There’s no way I would’ve said something that corny,” said Hunter with a chuckle as he took the envelope and pulled out the stack of images inside.

  They were hyper-realistic 3D-renderings of an industrial style building that wasn’t too dissimilar to the ones that stood nearby. However, its overall structure contained architectural embellishments that made it clear this wasn’t simply a factory building.

  “And building this was a better option than just remodeling the lofts?” asked Hunter in disbelief as he flipped through the images of the house they had planned to build.

  “Not really. Overall the remodel would’ve been cheaper, but we would’ve lacked a lot of freedom in the design. This includes a separate space for an art studio for me and an office for you. There’s a master bedroom and bath, with two smaller bedrooms, and a second bathroom for the kids,” explained Luke. “Plus there’s the backyard I mentioned. That’s not even an option for the remodel. This option gave us the most bang for our buck. At least, that’s the line you used to sell me on it and get me to go along with this whole crazy idea of yours in the first place.”

  “Why show this to me now,” asked Hunter, finally getting to the point that had been bugging him all along. “What exactly is going through your mind right now?”

  “I...” Luke’s voice trailed off and he looked back towards the river with a sigh. “I thought about selling this place for a long time,” he admitted at last. “I didn’t want to, but I thought that the dream of building this house disappeared with your memories. There’s no way I’d ever need a place this big on my own. I know you haven’t decided what kind of role, if any, you want to have in this baby’s life, and I’m okay with that.
I’ve decided, however, that I want to move forward on this project. I’d like to be able to give our child the best possible home I’m able to.”

  “I understand,” began Hunter, desperately searching for the words to make his next question sound a little less callous. He failed. “But what does any of this have to do with me?”

  His words clearly stung Luke, but the other man quickly recovered. “To be honest, it’s because your name is on the loan as well. Everything’s kind of been on pause since your accident, but we did get approved for the loan to build the house. We can remove your name, but then I’d have to get re-approved and they might not give me the same amount they gave me before. You don’t have to worry about anything, I’ll be more than able to cover the payments on my own, especially since I won’t have my apartment anymore.”

  “So, you’re asking my permission to move ahead with your plan and leave my name on the loan for the house?” asked Hunter, trying to process exactly what it was that Luke wanted from him.

  “Basically, yes.” Luke spread his hands before himself. “Whatever reassurances you need, I’ll give them to you. I can get you a copy of my credit history, bank accounts, you name it. I’ll make sure you don’t have to worry about your finances or your credit.”

  “I don’t need any of that,” said Hunter with a sigh. He looked up and locked eyes with Luke. “I’ve decided to trust my old self, and he trusted you. If I already signed off on this loan then go ahead. I trust you. This place, this house, it’s beautiful. I think the baby will be happy living with you here.”

  “There was one more thing I wanted to ask you,” said Luke, stepping cautiously towards Hunter. “I was hoping you would move in with me.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  “No.”

  Hunter’s single word reply shot through Luke like an arrow. He’d hadn’t necessarily expected Hunter to accept his offer, but he’d hoped he would at least consider it. The fact that he’d answered so quickly without a moment of hesitation left him reeling a little.

  “Can I ask why?” asked Luke, risking a look at Hunter. To his surprise, there was a look of pain in Hunter’s eyes. Perhaps his response hadn’t been quite as callous as Luke had assumed.

  “I can’t move in with you because I’m still trying to figure things out,” explained Hunter. “Everything’s already confusing enough as it is without adding proximity into the mix.”

  “What’s confusing you?” asked Luke. “Why would proximity make matters worse?” He had an inkling of what might be bothering Hunter, but he wanted to be certain. There was always the chance he was misreading the situation entirely.

  “We already had sex once,” said Hunter. “That wasn’t just because I was horny. It was because I think you’re irresistibly attractive. If I hadn’t been feeling so nauseous this morning I probably would’ve tried to seduce you in the kitchen. When I’m around you, all I want is to be close to you physically. The problem is I still don’t completely understand my emotional connection to you.”

  Luke looked away. He thought he could understand Hunter’s perspective a little. Living in close proximity to someone which you harbored a strong physical attraction but an uncertain emotional one would be its own special kind of hell. Especially when the other person was clearly attracted to you both physically and emotionally.

  Still, Hunter had been his neighbor for years. Luke found it difficult to imagine a life in which he didn’t see Hunter almost every single day. Sure there had been gaps of time where they’d seen each other very little, or not at all, but those were memories that Luke had mostly tried to forget. A day without Hunter was like a day where the sun didn’t shine as far as he was concerned.

  “I’m sorry,” said Hunter, his expression was tinged with sadness. “I wish I could give you a different answer.”

  “Don’t be,” insisted Luke. “You already gave me one answer I needed today.” He turned away from Hunter and looked back out at the river. The house he and Hunter had planned would be built here. He would raise their child here. Then, maybe, someday Hunter would come live with them.

  “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS to me?” Luke demanded with clenched fists as he stood in his apartment later that day. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so much anger and betrayal boiling beneath his skin. It had been years since he’d wanted to punch anyone.

  “You two were intent on making one another miserable, and I’ve been forced to sit here and interact with two of the most morose individuals on the planet on a near daily basis for the last two weeks,” countered Allen. “I know it wasn’t the best course of action, but I had to do something to get you two to at least talk to each other. If that means making you a little mad at me then I’m willing to do it. Better than living through another day watching both of you suffer because you can’t be bothered to walk ten feet down the hall and talk to one another.”

  Allen had come over to bring Luke a check for the sales of several of his paintings from the gallery. Luke hadn’t intended to snap at him, but he hadn’t been able to hold back. Those paintings had been personal, and the thought of them in someone else’s house now caused an ache in his heart.

  “You hadn’t looked at most of them in months. Were you ever going to hang them again or would you have just had me store them forever?” continued Allen.

  “It doesn’t matter,” said Luke, looking down at the check in his hands. At least they had sold for a generous amount. Though that did little to soothe him. “I painted them for myself. They were never meant to be seen.”

  “I’m sorry, Luke,” said Allen, approaching him and laying a hand on his shoulder. “I didn’t want to betray your trust, but I couldn’t watch you and Hunter continue like this. You two were meant for one another and almost two weeks without even talking had taken its toll on both of you. Hunter was just sitting in his apartment watching Netflix all day unless I dragged him out. You were churning out crappy paintings and apparently not even trying to self-filter anymore. I doubt either of you were eating properly.”

  Luke sighed and turned away. His anger was evaporating slowly. He hadn’t fully forgiven Allen, but at least his heart was in the right place. “Did Hunter tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “He’s pregnant.”

  “You dirty—“

  “From before.”

  “Oh.” Allen’s tone said it all. He hadn’t known or even suspected that might even be a possibility.

  Luke knew his friend probably had a million questions to ask. He was grateful the flood of questions was reduced to just one.

  “Have you two decided what to do?”

  “He’s giving the baby to me after it’s born,” explained Luke. “I’m going to build the house and raise it there.”

  “And Hunter?”

  “He’s still deciding what he wants. I asked him to move in with me, and he said no. The last thing I want is to try to force him to love me, but I feel like I need to do more to try and win him over.” Luke sighed and sat on the stool beside one of his empty easels.

  “Hunter already loves you,” said Allen as if it were a fact. “The problem is he doesn’t fully know it yet. I’ve spent enough time with him these last few weeks to see it myself. I think on some level he knows he cares for you, I just don’t think he understands how deep his affection goes.”

  “What can I do then?” Luke was at a loss.

  “You can start by actually doing stuff with him. What have you done together besides visit the gallery and cook for him?” Allen folded his arms across his chest.

  “I took him out to the lot this morning,” said Luke defensively.

  “Yes, because an empty lot in an industrial zone is such a romantic gesture,” said Allen rolling his eyes. “You wooed him once before. Stretch some of those romantic bones, Luke. You got him to say yes to you before but the way you’re acting now it’s like you’ve never even asked someone on a date.”

  “I...” Luke’s voice trailed off. Allen was
right, as usual. For all of his talk about trying to start over and make new memories, he hadn’t put forth much effort.

  “Just do something romantic,” Allen said simply. “Stop second guessing yourself. You know Hunter, you know what he likes. Use that to your advantage here. If you’re serious about winning him over, then you’ve got to actually work at it. He’s hesitant and confused, but I think he’ll come around if you can do something to help him make sense of things.”

  Allen was trying to reassure him, but Luke was still uncertain. It couldn’t really be that simple, could it? Not that winning Hunter over the first time had been simple. He’d had to contend with Vincent’s influence back then. Even after Vincent was gone Hunter had been resistant to Luke’s charms for quite a while afterward.

  “You gain nothing by not trying,” stated Allen as if reading his thoughts.

  “I’m still mad at you,” said Luke, narrowing his eyes at his friend. “I don’t want you to think I’ve let you off the hook already.”

  Allen held up his hands in defeat. “As long as you two are talking to one another then my work here is done.”

  IT HAD TAKEN LUKE THE rest of the day to come up with a plan. He’d filled at least a dozen notebook pages with ideas to help him woo Hunter. He’d rejected nearly all of them as either too over the top or not good enough. When he’d finally come up with a winning idea, he’d seized on it immediately.

  He only hoped Hunter would appreciate it.

  Carrying a box filled with goodies, Luke knocked on Hunter’s door.

  “Luke?” Hunter was tightening the belt on a bathrobe as he opened the door. “I was just about to take a shower. Did you need something?”

  For a moment, Luke was speechless. The v-neck of Hunter’s bathrobe revealed a hint of the smooth skin beneath. The curve of Hunter’s neck, the line of his collarbones, all immediately sent a thrill down Luke’s spine.