Memories of You Read online

  “Hunter, what—“

  “Shhhh...” breathed Hunter as he caught hold of Luke’s coat and leaned up to kiss him.

  Their lips met. Luke’s were still tinged with the cold of the outdoors, and his kiss was timid. He seemed unsure and unwilling to commit further to the kiss. Hunter could feel resistance and confusion coming from him as Luke tried to hold back.

  Hunter withdrew slightly. “Please, Luke,” he pleaded softly. “It’s driving me crazy. I need this.”

  “Hunter, I...” Luke’s voice trailed off and he looked away. “I want to. I want you so badly it aches, but this...” he disentangled Hunter’s hands from his coat. “You’re confusing the hell out of me. You refuse to move in with me and then you want to have sex with me again? I know it doesn’t mean the same thing to you, but for me it’s extremely personal.”

  Hunter felt the sting of shame as he stepped back several steps. Despite this, however, his entire body tingled as his arousal strained against the confines of his jeans. Just the slight touch of Luke’s lips against his own had conjured memories of that same warm mouth around his shaft and sent shivers down his spine. He was grateful the darkness hid the bulge in his pants from Luke.

  “I’m sorry,” breathed Hunter, trying his best to steady the hammering of his heart. “I...I didn’t mean to upset you...” Which was true. The last thing he had wanted was to upset Luke and logically, Luke’s reaction made sense right now. Unfortunately, logic was being suppressed by desire.

  “Can we just agree to keep things non-sexual for now?” asked Luke. “If you ever decide you want us to be more than ‘just friends’ then maybe we can move forward, but until then I can’t do the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing. I’m just not that kind of person.”

  Hunter groaned in frustration. “I do want us to be more than just friends,” he blurted. “I can’t stand this awkwardness and uncertainty. I want to be able to date you and get to know you romantically and open myself up to loving you. I just...” His voice trailed off when he realized he was shouting.

  “You just what?” coaxed Luke.

  “I just feel guilty,” continued Hunter, his voice returning to normal. “I feel guilty because I don’t feel anything for our baby. Even saying that it doesn’t feel real. When it’s born, I don’t think I’m going to want anything to do with it. I think I’ll be a terrible parent, and I just don’t want to be involved. But how can I be in a relationship with you if I don’t want to help you raise our kid?”

  Luke stepped towards him and, after a moment fumbling around in the dark, he took Hunter’s hand. “Why didn’t you just say something before?”

  “How am I supposed to say stuff like that?” asked Hunter. “I can’t just dump all of my problems on you.”

  “Whatever happens, we can figure it out together.” Luke kissed his forehead. “If you want to be my boyfriend then that means trusting me with your problems. Then I can trust you with mine. It’s mutual. We lean on each other.”

  “I just...” Hunter’s voice trailed off. “I’m still figuring stuff out. I don’t know if I’m in love with you or if I just like you. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to commit to an entire lifetime with you. I’m scared I’m going to disappoint you and everyone else.”

  “Do you at least want to try and figure all of this out together?” asked Luke.

  “Yes.”

  “And do you actually want to be my boyfriend and try to figure out how we work as a couple?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then that’s all I want from you,” said Luke, pulling Hunter close and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you, Hunter.”

  Hunter’s heart pounded in his chest as he buried his face against Luke’s shoulder and breathed deeply. His fear and stress began to melt away and he felt less burdened than he could ever remember feeling.

  “You weren’t lying before,” Luke chuckled.

  Hunter blushed, realizing his arousal still hadn’t diminished and was now pressing firmly against Luke’s thigh.

  “S-sorry,” Hunter stammered and he tried to move away.

  “Don’t apologize,” whispered Luke against his ear as he slid a hand down Hunter’s body and gripped the outside of his jeans firmly. “You’re my boyfriend now, right? So let me help.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Luke claimed Hunter’s mouth eagerly. His lips and his tongue pressed against Hunter’s, and the depth of the kiss only fueled his hunger. His hand gripping Hunter’s arousal, slid upward and tugged at the buttons holding Hunter’s jeans in place. He wanted access and freedom to roam and touch whichever places on his partner’s body he desired.

  This time, this moment, was different than the last time. That had been egged on by pure desire and lust. This one, however, was founded on something entirely different. Hunter had accepted him. Maybe not completely, maybe they weren’t directly back on the path towards marriage. But they were together at least. Hunter had verbally agreed to a relationship with him, one where they could work at building trust and a firm foundation that might eventually lead to something more. That hope, that first inkling of romantic energy, was what now drove Luke’s actions and desire.

  It seemed Hunter sensed it as well. He tugged at Luke’s coat and pulled at his shirt, struggling to find bare skin to cling to. They both worked towards the same goal, rendering their partner completely bare so they could indulge in the closeness of skin contact.

  Their clothes hit the floor layer by layer, and every touch and kiss brought them closer together. They moved to the floor, lowering themselves onto the bed their clothing had created for them.

  Hands, lips, and tongues intertwined and searched one another’s bodies. They explored every curve and sensation triggered by their partners’ touches. Hunter took the lead this time, pressing Luke back onto the floor. He eagerly pressed wet kisses across his lover’s skin, before taking his shaft fully into his mouth and warming him up.

  Luke moaned in pleasure, but kept his hands folded under his head. He allowed Hunter free rein over his body. He hoped that freedom would encourage his little lover. Their fledgling relationship needed to be built on trust and that was what Luke hoped to convey.

  Slowly, Hunter crawled back up the length of Luke’s body and kissed him once more. Then, somewhat hesitantly, he sat back up. After a moment of fumbling, he lowered himself onto Luke’s erection. The feeling was exquisite. The warm tightness engulfed Luke, and it took him a moment to regain his thoughts.

  He gently placed his hands on Hunter’s slender hips to help steady him and encourage him to move as soon as he was ready. Hunter met Luke’s gaze. His cheeks were flushed, he was breathless, and his eyes were sparkling.

  Hunter slowly, deliberately, began to move. Every motion elicited moans of pleasure from both of them.

  The tantalizingly slow pace couldn’t last forever though. Only so much time could pass before their mutual need for release drove them into a frenzy of desire.

  With that desire, they achieved an even closer physical connection, united in a way that only this intimacy could bring them. Every movement met with a response, and they built up towards a sensual rhythm.

  Hunter leaned forward and kissed Luke intently. Understanding flowed between them as they gazed through the dim light of a nearby display and into one another’s eyes. This sex, built on mutual understanding of their needs, was the foundation on which their relationship would continue.

  Never before had Luke felt more in tune with anyone, not even Hunter before his accident. They’d loved and been devoted to one another, but this level of understanding and mutual need was something they’d never quite attained in their relationship before.

  This realization both thrilled and terrified Luke as he clasped tightly to the slender omega before him as they drove each other towards the pinnacle of pleasure.

  It only took a moment longer for them to crest the hill that symbolized their mutual release. They
reached that moment together, and together they drifted over the top, tumbling down the other side in a white hot cascade that stole their breath away.

  AS THEY WALKED THROUGH the rain back towards the apartment building, Luke felt both joy and uncertainty settling into his heart. He looked over at Hunter, walking beside him with a similar look of uncertainty on his face. Neither of them dared to speak, and the only sounds were the traffic on the road and the rain pattering against the umbrella overhead.

  Their relationship had changed now. They’d reached an understanding that required much from each of them. They’d promised to face the oncoming challenges together. But the challenges ahead of them were more than just bumps in the road. They were mountain trails riddled with pitfalls and no clear way forward at times.

  Despite his promise to figure things out together, Luke didn’t even know where to begin on some of it. It would be easy for him to accept the role of sole parent and raise their child alone. What then would Hunter’s role be? Just the perpetual boyfriend that was able to avoid any responsibility for the child’s life? As much as Luke wished it were otherwise, he already knew that such an arrangement would undoubtedly strain their already fragile relationship.

  No, there had to be some other solution to their problem. What it was, however, he couldn’t even begin to fathom.

  “Hey,” said Hunter softly.

  Luke looked over at him and Hunter took his hand.

  “Don’t look so glum,” encouraged Hunter. “You look like you just got told your boyfriend has amnesia.”

  Luke blinked for a moment and then chuckled despite himself. “That’s not funny,” he chastised Hunter.

  “I dunno,” said Hunter with a shrug and a laugh. “I thought it was.”

  “No more problems for today,” said Luke with determination. “Let’s do something else.”

  “Another movie?” asked Hunter with excitement shining in his eyes. It warmed Luke’s heart to see Hunter genuinely excited about something.

  “Which one? I brought over a bunch last night.”

  “What about that one, ‘War Stars’ or whatever it’s called. That looks really good.” Hunter was practically skipping along beside him now.

  Luke laughed. “Okay, fine. I’ll cook us a nice dinner and we can start that series.”

  “It’s a series?” Hunter looked at him as if he must be joking.

  “Yeah, there’s like nine of them now. Plus the spin-offs and the animated series. We could probably binge watch that entire series for two weeks. Maybe less if we didn’t do anything else,” Luke explained.

  “Could we do that?”

  “You’ve got a job now, and I’ve got to try and paint something to replace all those nudes of you,” said Luke with a laugh.

  “Fine,” said Hunter grudgingly, “but every evening. Until we’re done. We’ll get through the whole thing as quickly as possible.”

  “You haven’t even watched the first movie yet. What makes you think you’re going to even like it?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” stated Hunter, stopping short and staring at Luke with determination. “I want to spend as much time with you as possible. The more stuff we do together, the more I learn about you and the closer we get. That’s what I want right now. To get to know you as much as possible.”

  Luke looked at Hunter and smiled. His heart felt as if it would burst with joy at hearing those words. The problems that faced them seemed insurmountable when he looked at them alone. But together, they could do it. He stretched out a hand and took Hunter’s hand in his own.

  “We’ve got a lot of movies to get through; we’d better get started.”

  THEIR DAYS WERE SPENT apart.

  Hunter went to the art gallery during the day, coaxing in buyers and selling paintings. The potential clients always seemed intrigued by the idea of a model selling his own paintings. Thankfully, Hunter quickly learned to capitalize on that and his sales numbers were much higher than Allen had anticipated. In order to ensure they didn’t run out of stock, Allen was forced to reduce the gallery’s operating days down to only three times a week.

  Luke busily worked on new paintings for Allen to either add to the gallery or shop to his clients. However, he’d also begun the process of getting the new house built. While he knew the project was in the capable hands of the contractor he’d hired, he visited the worksite at least every other day just to watch the progress being made.

  Unfortunately, this meant he was unable to keep up with Hunter’s pace, and the number of paintings within the gallery was growing thin. Allen was forced to contact some of the other painters in his network to supplement the gallery’s displays.

  Despite the busyness of their days, however, Hunter and Luke reserved their evenings exclusively for one another. It took them a week to get through the series they had planned to watch. Every new installment in the series brought new commentary from Hunter. Some of it was similar to the comments he’d made before and some of it was new. All of it was entertaining to Luke.

  They quickly selected another series of movies to watch and continued this tradition for several weeks.

  As Hunter’s pregnancy advanced, his nausea slowly subsided, and they were eventually able to resume cooking lessons once more. Cooking dinner together in the evening quickly became one of Luke’s favorite parts of the day. Each new meal was an adventure as he tried to teach Hunter new techniques, and Hunter invariably met with one disaster or another.

  Perhaps that was why Luke was so surprised when he came home one evening to find Hunter standing proudly alongside a beautiful chocolate cake.

  “Surprise!” shouted Hunter, spreading his hands towards the cake with glee. “Happy birthday!”

  Luke frowned momentarily. “I don’t think I told you it was my birthday,” he said as he closed the front door behind him. He didn’t like birthdays. He never had. Hunter, however, always found a way to coax him into celebrating it which had been both sweet and irritating at the same time.

  “Nope, you didn’t,” said Hunter with a grin. “You may have deleted your number from my phone, but you didn’t delete my calendar. Apparently, old me programmed it in a long time ago.”

  “Yeah, because you knew I don’t really like celebrating my birthday. You missed it our first year together because I didn’t tell you about it,” explained Luke. “Then you managed to get the date from my mom, and ever since then you’ve never let me miss it. I thought maybe this year, at least, I’d get a reprieve from it.”

  “I’m sorry,” said Hunter, his expression wilted slightly. “I just wanted to surprise you.”

  “And you did,” said Luke, stepping towards him and placing a kiss on his forehead.

  “Why don’t you like your birthday?” asked Hunter, looking up at Luke with the saddest expression he’d ever seen on a human.

  Luke sighed. “Because it’s the same day as my birth father’s birthday. When I was a kid we used to make a big deal about it. We’d do something fun, have two cakes, and give each other presents. It was just a huge thing. Then my dad walked out on us and never came back. My mom tried, but my birthday memories were also some of her favorite memories of my dad. So it was hard for both of us. One year I told her I just didn’t want to do it anymore. From then on that was it. She got remarried later on and that guy is more of a dad to me than my birth-father ever was. He respected my decision though and not celebrating my birthday became more of a tradition to me.”

  “Did you tell old me this?” asked Hunter, looking over at his cake sadly.

  “Yes,” said Luke. “Old you insisted that birthdays were an important way to mark the passage of time. You were obsessed with the idea of trying to erase my bad memories of my birthday and replace them with positive ones of the two of us together.”

  “So, since you weren’t going to tell me, I guess it didn’t work then,” said Hunter with a frown.

  “It might have,” said Luke. “Except old you never had my real birthday. My mom knew h
ow much I hated it, so she gave you the wrong date.”

  Hunter perked up slightly. “So when is your real birthday?”

  Luke grinned. “Nope. I’m keeping that to myself. Let me just enjoy my fake birthday without having to deal with all that drama from the past, okay?”

  “Fine,” relented Hunter, turning towards the table and grabbing a fork that had been lying next to the cake. “Tell me what you think,” he said as he handed the utensil off to Luke.

  Luke took a forkful of cake and hesitantly raised it to his mouth. He’d sampled a lot of Hunter’s creations over the last several weeks, and none of them had ever been appetizing on their first encounter. He was more than a little apprehensive about this cake. Especially because it looked absolutely delicious.

  He slid it into his mouth, half expecting the acrid bite of too much salt or the smoky flavor of charcoal. Instead, the cake coated his tongue in delicious chocolaty goodness. The texture was light and fluffy, the cake itself was moist, and the frosting was smooth and creamy.

  “So?” asked Hunter expectantly staring up into his face.

  “It’s wonderful,” said Luke unable to hide his astonishment. “It’s a little too sweet I think, but nothing that makes it inedible. I feel like I could eat the whole thing.”

  Hunter seemed overjoyed by this praise. “I wanted to make something special for your birthday, but now I feel a little cheated,” he laughed. “I had another surprise waiting for you in the living room, but I guess I’ll have to take it down now.” He sighed and glanced playfully back at Luke.

  Luke studied his face for a moment and glanced towards the living room. The blank wall was no longer blank. In disbelief, Luke made his way towards the living room and stared up at the wall. Staring back at him was a large canvas with the words “Hunter & Luke” scrawled across it in flowing script. Each of the letters contained a scene from their shared past. A scene painted by Luke’s own hand.